Shadows

the alarm bells shake the night
the stars they collide
the dreams twist and turn into morbid shapes
the lights they spin and shine
a car pulls into a dark alley
and illuminates the worst of society

a puff of something nasty
a lifetime all packed into one punch
no time to regret while your face falls off
now you can't hide behind the smile
they say beauty is only skin deep
so when we are left with only our veins and vital organs
who plays the cards now?
what are the odds that you can see I have a big heart?

fateful days are funny
funky
delerious
sweaty wake ups early in the morning
too early.
can't go back to sleep
pacing my studio apartment
one step, two step, three step
a stairway in my closet?
maybe
an escape from it all through the right door
i'm just dreaming
day-dreaming while I sit in class and remember fateful days

fatefulness is measured by what?
i suppose it's rather subjective
the subject must elect certain priorities.
i'm just rambling now.

back to the sweat.
shed my shirt.
shed my pants.
shed my underwear.
peel off my socks.
now i am naked
exposed to whomever may come across me.
i like it.
it turns me on.
i go hard.

anything to put me back to sleep right?
exhausted with these common tendencies.
you need to make a concious effort they say
to get rid of those vices you keep devon
they say
to stop biting your nails
to stop procrastinating and masturbating
all..the..goddamn..time

productive days
ah.
just living
breathing
getting by
and lots and lots of water.
to keep me hydrated with a strong voice
i want those cocksuckers to hear me when its all over
i want my voice to ring in their heads for years after its all over
when those shadows finally overcome me.

more on those shadows later.