Walk With Me

I got used to the late night walks.
Learned every step
Every twist and turn.
Learned how the rocks tumble across the pavement
When I thrust my foot out.
In anger
In Solace
In excitement over the coming days.
Clouds in the sky
Chronic smoke out my mouth like a secret
Slowly passed around.
Getting to heads.
Leaving a trace on those who stick around.
They follow just behind.
Encouraging devon to stay on his grind.

If it's all the same I'll just hang awhile.
Lean against the wall.
And watch society rush on past me.
Catching glances and cradling them.
Hope you see hope in my tired eyes.
These pupils raising hands.
You see my scarred perception.
And questions fill your aura.
Don't ask no questions.
No.
Don't inquire into situations you can't control.
You'll get a little too deep and scream for help.
But at that point it becomes too little too late.

The zoo fills with animals of a different variety
I see the sense go down with each shot.
Oh the humanity.
Oh the insanity.
It's this kind of behaviour that gets me off.
I'll be getting my dick sucked in the bathroom stall.
They say you're destroying your life devon
But they enjoy my fall.
From grace.
They want my memories but can't stand my face.
Sorry I made y'all uncomfortable.

I'm a little queasy to.
Seems a little easy to throw up all over you.
Mindless nonsense acting like a shield.
To block the reason of conscience.
A hand clutches the cross
To circumvent loss.
To ease the pain.
We all have our fixes.
Little patch jobs that go down our throat.
Or gently flow into our lungs.
We cough and speak in earnest on daily events.
We cough to our death.
And on our last days the words come carefully.
They roll around in our brain.
Everything said a prodigy
A precursor to our inevitable fate.

So hold tight to love as you know it.
And follow me on my late night walks.
I see the many shadows but I face ahead.
Because we all have our reasons for being there.
But mine is my own and I don't desire to share.
I give enough already.
In order to promote salvation.
Not the cosmic kind.
Not the religious dogma that'll poison your mind.
I'm talking about the freedom of thought,
The freedom to be who you need to be.
It's when we close our eyes and believe our dreams, then we really see.

Photobomb

The Shitty Car

So you've purchased a car.
And the car runs well for a bit.
But after awhile it begins to stutter and stall.
It leaks fluid and randomly emits smoke.
It even ignites one day.
You take the car to the mechanic and he lays down the price.
It's going to cost a lot of money and time.
But you spend the money and time because the car is special to you.
But these fixes are just temporary patch jobs.
The truth about the car is that it's a lemon.
A dud with a hollowed out interior.
You got played.
And so you take it to the junk and try to get as much coin for the scrap metal as possible.

So why do you stay in a relationship that works the same way?

It worries me that some people are having difficulty seperating illusions from reality. It's nobody's fault really. All day we are pumped with the "ideal" life. That is, what's on our television screens, billboards, movies and the list goes on and on.
Check out the documentary series No Logo (google it) for a more in-depth insight into that whole thing.

But it worries me.
Because some people are completly sucked into it. And they are blissfully ignorant. I think a lot of pain and struggle stems from societal expectations.

Sex Tips

Sex Tips From Devon.

This is a little write up I did on sex tips. It's directed towards men obviously. Since I don't have the experience of being a woman. Shucks.


1)Less is more. Especially in regard to kissing. A slight brush of the lips is often just as erotic as two tongues wrestling. Not that french kissing isn't sexy. I'm
not saying that exactly. What I mean is that casual kissing should be slow and sensual.Bite her lips a bit. Move down to her neck and chest and move back. Make it slow
and have her come to you. I've had bad kissers in my life. They all thought they were great. I'm just saying..shoving your tongue down someone's throat is not attractive.
There is such thing as a messy kiss and it has turned me off. Unless you've both had 15 shots and are back home from a night of partying..in which case all rules are
out the window.

The same thing goes for foreplay. A lot of guys kiss for a bit and then it's right off with the underwear and look at me i'm trying to shove my dick into your hardly
prepared vagina. I recommend spending some time turning the girl on. Which leads me to my next point.

2) Learn how girls want their boobs to be treated. I think i saw something on That 70's Show were donna relates foreplay with eric to "tuning a radio". This is not the
reaction you want. Remember my advice on kissing? It works here also. Use that tongue of yours to play with her nipples a bit. Don't suck on them like you are a newborn
and need milk. It's about the sensuality. I find that once nipples get hard they are more sensitive near the tip. So really it's just about grazing the sensitive tips.
I like to do some biting (hehe) but be careful not to bite too hard (i've done that).

Foreplay is so crucial and important. It's such an overlooked part of sex. But I fucking loove foreplay. Especially with a new girl it's nice to explore her body
and see what gets her going.

3)The underwear doesn't have to come off juust yet. I prefer the slow stripping of clothes off a girl. The problem here is finding a girl that is confident in her own skin.
I'm not all about sex in the dark and under covers. I understand if a girl wants it that way the first time. But it's weird and shows you are insecure. So yeah girls if you are
reading this keep in mind the guy is probably equally self concious about his body. The male body doesn't generally look all that amazing. Unless you are some kind of model.
Or you hit the gym all the time. Most dudes are just regular joes. Lucky me I still have my metabolism. Another thing to consider ladies is that the guy wouldn't be hooking
up with you if he didn't find you attractive. He's probably silently congratulating himself at that very moment.

Someone asked me the other day if I'd still hook up with a girl if she was unshaven. My answer was yes. Even if a girl let herself completely go I would still wrap up that session.
But I do find shaven girls more sexy. I'm not sure why. Society perhaps? I also like to go down on girls so being clean and shaven is a plus for that. Besides..I keep my junk trimmed
and I would hate for a girl to be picking hair out of her mouth after oral. So my standard is based off my own. If I can spend the time to keep it clean down there then
I'll seek out someone else who can also. To each their own.

I've gotten a bit off topic so I'll get back to the point.

4)Be gentle at first. No the vagina is not a target for your dick to be a battering ram. Go slow at first and use those hips well. I can't dance for shit. But I can slowly
rotate my hips back and forth. I think we (men) are born with the ability to move our hips back and forth. Slow it down.

5) Once things get going, keep in mind her pleasure. As a man you are gifted with the ability to usually always cum. The girl, however, is not so easily brought to that state.
Listen to her reactions. If she says keep going..go..hard..in that spot lol. You can usually tell by her body language the effect you are having.

6)She has a clitoris? A what? A clitoris. You see, I don't want to go on this whole thing about this. But regular intercourse does not commonly make a woman reach orgasm.
But something that will greatly encourage that is direct stimulaton of the clitoris. If you're dating a girl or regularly hooking up with a girl. Talk to them about their pleasure.
Oral sex doesn't come naturally. Ask her what feels good and what doesn't. Throw away your pride if you suck at oral. Wait..suck at oral..thats funny. But anyways.
It's a learning experience.

Well that about sums up my basic advice. There's a whole lot more though. I'll post later.

Red Red River

amongst the large crowd he never felt so alone
conversations covering his face
and he cowers and falls
they surround him and the roar becomes louder
he could get smothered by this discourse
so he finds his feet and gets the fuck outta there
runs along the river
stops and views his reflection
it's not up to par
he slaps the water and watches the ripples fan out
like poverty it fans out
from the inner city it spreads and spreads
community members rush to the edges.
building private communities covered in barbed wire
but the hungry couldn't be stopped
they climbed the walls many died but the majority made it
and they tore apart the elite
and danced in the streets
firing ak's in the air
back to the river he feels like taking a dip
a toe in the water
they say just take the plunge
he's neck deep now
just like he's lost his footing
so down he goes
down he goes
in the blood red river.
people ask how could he kill himself
as if he actually killed himself
he didn't shoot himself in the head you see
the murderer in his mind pulled that trigger
a million fences
a million guns
couldn't keep that killer away

meanwhile a baby is born
screaming with the thirst for alchohol he was fed
they give him a sip of that vodka and he's off to bed
back to the party
they didn't even cut the cord
that's a bad hangover
he crawls over and cuts it with a crack rock
fast forward ten years
he's twelve going on fifty
slumped up against the wall
a family passes him by
children close your eyes
you don't want to see
the evil this world has to offer
hurry along kids
and they dont want to look
but they sure like to judge
yup they bang bang bang on the gavel
bang bang bang
the drums of death are near

I don't care if I have a "hot| server.

I don't care if I have a hot server.

Honestly, all I want is good service. Bring the food out in a timely manner. Know the menu. Offer drink specials. Re-fill drinks. Be nice and courteous and timely and BAM we're all good.

I work in a restaurant where all the girls wear tight dresses/tights/skirts/ anything that shows off the body and promotes sexy. To me this is sleazy. Not on the girls part but the client base. I swear i'll never be a guy sitting at a table hooting and hollering at my server. I'll never flirt with my server or make her uncomfortable in anyway. These 40 something year old dudes who think they are getting anywhere with their server are DREAMING. She's playing you for tips bro. Cmon, 40 and you haven't figured that out? And some may say "well he's 40 and probably lonely and trying to regain some of his youth" I say fuck that. When I am 40 I am going to be a classy dude who still does youthful things. This does not involve making an 18 year server feel like she needs a shower after speaking to me. I'll be hitting up the 30 year olds thank you very much.

I had an ex girlfriend who was a host at a restaurant for like 3 years. They never promoted her to server or even gave her a shot at it. Not even "here's a couple tables to test you out" on a dead night. It was a big no..just no no no. Their excuse? Some bullshit like you don't have the personality. Uhh...my bullshit radar goes off the hook with that. She doesn't have the personality? But you'll send someone over who has a head full of cottage cheese? Scratch that..wine cooler and gucci bags. A head full of wine coolers and gucci bags. Don't ask me where cottage cheese came from.

I couldn't help but think it was because they didn't deem her "attractive enough".I hate that fucking restaurant. But hey, they were no different than the one I work at. It's a god damn shame.

Welcome to March-The defrosting of my city.

Blah, sorry I haven't stopped by this little corner of my psyche in awhile.

Wrote a little poem waiting for my group to arrive in the cafeteria today.

I'm not looking for love
But my eyes do wander
And my mind does drift
When our eyes meet I contemplate the possibilities
I've been hurt
And I've hurt others
Women who were lovers
Men who were brothers
I'm not looking for love
But my eyes do wander

My group is a funny batch of people. All completely different people. It inspires me to see such varying degrees of personality. One already holds a degree. I assume which he doesn't have much use for. So he's taking this entry-level english class in order to pursue something new. I feel for him being stuck in a class full of recent high school grads. He scares the other two girls. They seem intimidated and annoyed by his matter of fact way of speaking. The other two girls are both pursuing degrees in education. What else is new? Sorry, but that degree is so common. Everyone wants to be a teacher. I say goodluck. Anyways, one is rather boisterous and definitely remains vocal in order to make sure things go as she plans. Hah, the other girl has a boyfriend serving in the military. He's visiting for a week this friday. Our group is going first to present our project so she can take off early and hangout with him. I empathize with her. I did the long distance thing last year and know all too well how quickly that week is going to go by. I find myself fascinated with this relationship. I've spoken to her about how she feels, how he feels, etc etc. I imagine the hugging and the kissing of his arrival. The fast heartbeat as you spend time with the one you love. And that eventual pain that comes with his departure. I wish them the best of luck in their romance.

What about me? I suppose you'd have to ask one of them. I'm sure we all have different opinions of eachother. I find the two girls cute and young. Fresh out of high school. Me and the guy seem to get along well. We're both old men. It could be a sitcom.

Age plays a part in relationships. Well at least in my experience it does. I met a beatufiul and funny girl and my only reason for holding back is the age-gap. The time from late teens to early twenties is a life changing experience. I remember back then I would probably argue and tell my current self to fuck off. Well fuck you 17 year old devon lol. She was beautiful and funny and my god she was gorgeous. But it wasn't our time. I hope she can find herself someone she deserves. She doesn't deserve me. And I mean that honestly I would only bring heartache. Better to let things settle and just be friends.

My dad finally emailed me back. I was pissed about him waiting so long. But he told me he's going to send me $1000 in a week. I was taken aback. I mean I did outline my expenses to him. And my financial situation is rather bleak. But a g note? That's a little unsettling. I know he makes a lot of money and does not really have anything to do with it however. The guy makes well over a six figure salary and lives in a one bedroom apartment lol. I remember him saying he'd just rather live on the barracks and pay about half he's paying for that one bedroom apartment he has. He travels the world and is almost never home.

My dad? A changed man. I've said this before but his last breakup really affected him. I'm picturing some pretty rough things coming out of his ex-girlfriends mouth. But more so it's the reality check that comes with laying your head down in a hardly furnished one bedroom apartment. Not fun. Since then he's been reaching out to me. He seems to need my company so I oblige. I sit down with him monthly and have some beers and shoot the shit. I don't think he speaks to my other siblings. He's not all alone though. He's dating some lady in windsor ontario. Ah well. He'll be alright.

Me? Just keeping up with things. Got this last little bit of school to bang out. Then I'm planning on picking up full time hours at the restaurant. The restaurant's going well. What can I say-it's work. Cooking isn't my passion but I enjoy the people. It's not horrible to have beautiful girls in tight dresses walking around all the time. Yes I know-my fucking male gaze. Get over it.

That's it!
Peace & Love