Together We Run

Together we run through trees of urban expansion.
They tower high into the grey sky.
Reflecting the tired eyes of the oppressed.
As the faces plaster the window shops filled with the impossible.
Always an ideal that remains out of touch.
Shown fully in a young girl standing in front of a mirror.
She clutches the fat on her belly and wishes everything away
Shown fully in the lost young man.
He throws his fists against an unknown foe.
Wishing for it all to come to him.

Together we run through trees of urban expansion.
The alleys are always calling
The cigarettes are always falling
Somewhere between work and school I lost my mind.
You were sitting on the curb.
Telling me about how you miss the fireworks back home.
The long grass and the cologne covered plaid shirt of an ex-lover.

And the clock chimes and twists and turns.
I'm a few drinks in and the passing of time is a little distorted
Paying my tab I stumble into the street.
We are all faceless as we shuffle from place to place.
Bumping shoulders with strangers.
I shrug off the contact with distaste.

Things just aint been the same since you left town
We used to run through it all
Now my hands are shoved deep into my pockets.
Kicking stones off trees of urban expansion
You write once in awhile
Telling me to stay warm and visit when I can

I make a mental note to leave town as soon as possible.

Putting Oneself Out There

I always found that our reaction to rejection is so wonderfully illogical. I mean let me put it this way. If some random person were to enter the room right now and immediately begin berating you ( calling you all sorts of bad names along with ugly) would you take it personally? No. The rational portion of your mind would surmise at least one thing:.

This person does not know us. Therefore these accusations do not have any real truth value.

We would immediately come to the conclusion that if someone does not know anything about us personally..then their insults or accusations mean fuck all.

Yet..when approaching a relative stranger for a number or a date we become the most sensitive fucks ever. All of a sudden we are taking things personally. Interesting..

And of course I could sit here and talk nonsense about loving oneself and not “caring what others think” similar to some motivational middle school speech. But hey, we all want to get laid and cuddle sometimes. The single life is two things at the same time. It’s a great period to grow as an individual and to be “free” to move and do what you please. But it’s also not something that we all want to hold onto for life. So, eventually we will make these timid approaches to females/males.

One must be careful not to lay all our cards onto the table when it comes to anyone else. Because here’s a hard-to-choke-down fact about life:

We can’t control how other people feel

Whether we are approaching someone for a first date or experiencing a break-up. There’s only so much we can do to appease another person. It does sting, however, when we are turned down for a date or not called back after the first couple dates. And well, my theory is that we’ve put ourselves out there and haven’t had the feelings come back. It’s a crappy cold feeling and we shy away from it. Hence the reason why so many people simply sit beside each other (both totally wanting to fuck each other) and do nothing about it.

There’s this old ass Michael Jordan quote I remember. It was framed and put up in my elementary school principals office. I was in there more than I was in class. (Don’t ask) but the quote read “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” and well..it’s true. How could you ever have met suzy q or john smith if you hadn’t put yourself out there?

The conclusion is not appealing. But finding ourselves a little hurt is life. Similar to stuffy noses and rainy days..hurt comes in life. And it’s better to just admit to ourselves “gee, that sucked” and understand where the suckiness came from. It doesn’t make you “vulnerable” it makes you a go-getter. Err..that sounded stupid. No, it makes you a normal-fucking-person. That sounds better.

-dev

Guy Advice-Prostate Exams

 Nice moustache..when's the last time you've had a prostate exam done?

Here’s November and let’s bring out the moustaches in support of prostate cancer awareness…right? Well let’s hope so.

I’m all for guys growing a certain kind of facial hair in support of an illness. But, I want to be clear that the most important thing about prostate cancer..is actually speaking about our prostates.

The moustache only goes half-way. And in some instances the point is completely lost. Breast cancer awareness deals with this also. The idea of “movember” is supposed to unify men in an awareness campaign against prostate cancer. But how many guys sporting staches this month have actually had a prostate exam? I’m willing to say a WHOLE bunch haven’t.

So while we may be raising money for charitable dontations towards cancer research. Let’s not forget that a huge part of prostate cancer related deaths are due to tumours growing untreated on a mans prostate. So instead of growing a moustache this month ( I grow a terrible one) I’m advocating men go get a physical done if they haven’t in the past couple of years.

It’s scary and I’ll admit it. I find cancer scary and I don’t give a fuck who you are..you find it scary to. It’s also very uncomfortable to have a doctor sticking their fingers up your butt. But a few moments of an uncomfortable feeling could save your life.

My little brother ( he’s going to hate me) has dealt with some butt issues in the past. Not cancer, but some painful stuff going on down there. He just got out of surgery last month. If my little brother can deal with getting surgery done on the inside of his ass..then we can all go get a prostate exam done.

-dev

I Saw Myself Today

Walking down the street I saw myself today.
Didn't know what to do or say.
I watched who I once was walk away.
Such is life I suppose.
But then he turned and looked me in the eyes.
I could tell I served as fate in that moment
Struggling to speak, to show him the lies in disguise.
But who would I be without it all?
The highs would be nothing without the coming fall.
And i've spent time questioning who, what and why
Been through some shit but i'll stay who I am
I wouldn't pay money to be another guy.

I don't have much to say
Just that I saw myself today
And was moved to write this poem
Ended up moving on
Figured the past aint worth speaking to anymore
People come and go out my front door
New faces get me out of bed
Some despised, yet immortalized
Such is a writers dilemma
Do I give you life in my words? Allow you to exist in my notebook?
It's inevitable
Rather than tears come the words
As I do what i've always done
Talk myself through this world.

-dev

Conversations

Two Friends Interact Over A Joint

Oh, how times can change people.
And keep people the same in a vice-like grip
The hurricane years.
When everything you know or own is ripped from their roots
Love and wealth hovers tauntingly above grasp in the winds
And people make promises they will break later
When the blood spills and individual success is on the line
But some just stay the same
Leaning against forgotten walls
I might visit home one day
Run my hands along where I used to write
Might crack a bottle in the rinks tonight

"Devon, devon, wake the fuck up! You alright?"

Ah, i'm not too sure
I can still taste the lies on my mouth
Priorities all tangled up in blankets and blonde hair
I just said what I had to say
Never realizing those promises would haunt me one day

"Dude you're tripping. You hooked on a girl again? You're always one something else when it comes to shortys"

Nah, I miss a feeling.
Not a particular female in particular
But the freedom I mean, man
Feet dangling off the dock.
Toes just brushing the water
My only fear was an ice cold plunge and spilling my beer
At the same time, I wouldn't mind laying back up with shorty
Just for one night, you know?
She had a way of laughing at me
Washing over me like the pacific
She used to trace my scars with long nails
Asking me where they came from
she never held back from the truth
I envied the way she looked at life
This unobstructed fucking dope view of life


"You do this to yourself you know that? Always seems when we right faded you get all nostalgic"

Just pass that as we head down the road to nowhere
No mans land they say
I say when it all comes crashing down
Aint no cash demand on mayday ok?
We've been chasing the sunset our entire lives
Some kind of warmth that'll put us to sleep

"You know, lately when i've closed my eyes everything seems so clear"

Maybe we're living in a dream?

"Far from it man I got issues, real issues"

Hard time growing up I know
But we aint slowing up
Still growing still showing up
Doing what we gotta do to survive

"My dreams aren't my goals though. I've come to realization that I need to be reasonable in life. My girls got a baby now. And I don't want to be like her daddy.
I mean, it's a little heat.
She aint really got a daddy..
But her daddy ride a caddy down my street
Pushing keys she just wants to delete.
And her brother? Homie lives on the street.
Dude can rhyme though, lives off a beat.
But he aint never gonna make it, chasing dreams with cold feet"

Word.
Enough said man.
I feel your pain like all the others.
I feel their pain.
But that's something for another day.

-dev

Guy Advice-Insecurity

Every once in awhile on the blog I take some time to give guys some advice.

See Sex Tips

Relationships come with expected drama. And well, arguments will happen no matter what. But one common argument I see a lot that can be prevented goes as such :

Girl wants to go out with friends. Guy doesn't want to go out for whatever reason. Regardless, girl still wants to go out and have fun. Argument ensues because guy doesn't want to "let" the girl go out without him. Or he doesn't want to girl to leave him at home. They are a couple..right?

Well i'm going to say let the girl go out and have fun. And i'm saying that because what..the..fuck..is the matter?
-The guy is obviously insecure as shit if he thinks the girl is going out to grind on other random dudes.
-The guy obviously has a trust issue with the girl.
-The guy is thinking too much about himself
-And this comes off as clingy/obsessive

The list goes on and on. This is all about confidence dudes. Be a little confident that you are the person your girlfriend wants to be with.

Also, this is some valuable time to relax and play some video games. Or do some independant shit like learn chess! You should enjoy the fact that your girl is happy and dancing it up with her friends. And guess what? Chances are you'll be rewarded for your kindness.

Too many guys dig their own grave by trying to be over macho and protective. As a matter of fact, what the fuck does macho do for guys anyways? Embrace who you are. You'll attract the right type of woman this way.

Insecurity is never a good look.

-devon

Booty Shake Monday

There's a local bar here in the city that does a "booty shake monday". It's an event where a number of girls are invited to the stage to shake their bootys for a certain amount of cash. The judging is done by how loud the crowd cheers for each contestant.

So the question that runs through my mind is "can this be empowering?" Because i've seen the event take a lot of criticism from feminists and just the average person on my facebook. To them, it's a sort of dirty thing to do. A sluttish thing to do perhaps. Whatever the fuck that means. The word slut to me literally makes NO sense. It's a relative term thrown around by haters. Nobody has time for that shit! I don't think of anyone as a slut. If anything, i'm a slut. So the people saying booty shake mondays are "dirty" or "slutty" don't count for me.

So is there a problem with booty shaking at the palomino on a monday evening? Why am I even writing this blog in the first place? Well, when I look at the photos I can't help but notice the crowd. Mainly a group of horny dudes who look creepy as hell. Take this one for example :

Why the fuck does everyone look so serious?
Anyways, I'd feel weird in that club. And this is coming from a guy who used to frequent strip clubs when he turned 18. I loved strip clubs. And then a friend of mine started stripping and it got weird. A little too real for me. She had a kid. She stripped for a living. It might have been slightly empowering but I saw it more as one of the pitfalls of capitalism. She earns good money doing it. But she'd rather be doing something else. And it's not so easy to just "do" things. Life has a way of forcing routines and chaining us to certain lifestyles. But yeah i'd feel out of place standing with a bunch of dudes watching girls shake their ass and cheering loudly for the best one.

Guess I left my macho suit at home today. But then again, my definition of a man differs greatly from modern media. If I was in that club (I never go to clubs anymore) I would still be chasing women. But i'd probably save the ass shaking until later. A private show perhaps. (Imagination runs wild)

Could pornography be empowering to anyone taking part? Certainly. But the truth lies in the context for me. I don't get off on girls being slapped around, spit on, or called shitty names. I think fucking weirdos get off on that kind of stuff. BUT consensual BDSM is a whole different story. It all lies in the context.

As for girls booty shaking at the palomino. I'm torn between a girls right to celebrate her body and the creepy dudes lining up for a peek. Seems like the context is lost amongst the loud music and monster energy caps.

But create a booty shake night and they will come shake. I'm just in an odd camp of guys that would rather peek at your mind before celebrating your body.

-devon

Photobomb

Jhene Aiko-Stay Ready (What a Life) ft Kendrick Lamar

Calling Home

"I need to call home. I need to call mom"

It's this statement I make to myself as a result of a feeling. This feeling hits me and I just feel heavy. Sometimes the heavy feeling inspires writing and such. But other times it's a feeling that requires a different solution. And it has always come back to calling home and speaking with my mother.

And i've come to realize that my mother is my rock. And i'm sure people reading this will be like "well duh devon she's your mother"
But more than just my mother she is my rock of unconditional love. And lately I feel like i'm this alien on earth. Like i'm walking around in a completely different existence. And I love this existence. The world of devon. You know? I love it. But I want somebody else to roam this reality with. And fuck yeah i'm lonely. I get lonely and I don't care if that doesn't go well with a GJ joe commercial. I live alone and yeah I get fucking lonely. So sometimes I need to just call home. Sometimes I need to just call my mother who doesn't care about the following things:
She doesn't care if I have a car
She doesn't care if i'm having a bad hair day.
She doesn't care that my apartment is small.
She doesn't care about the money in my bank account.
She doesn't care about much else except to see me happy and healthy.

And that's why I feel this pull. This urge to call home. I don't do it a whole lot. Probably could call more. But I call every couple months. It's a break from this strange reality I'm a part of.

-dev

 

The Desire For Power

The desire for power. Could it ever be a healthy thing?

The question struck my mind in regards to people around me. Especially those with certain titles. "Bosses" in respect to their occupations. Do these people see themselves as "bosses" or do they simply reluctantly apply the title in an effort to perform a job smoothly? Many would say that people enjoy being figures of authority. Some crave it. This has been said about police officers, often in scorn. "Those who were bullies in high school become police officers". However this statement reflects the person saying it more than the actual reality of the statement. People are nervous around police even if they haven't committed a crime. Why so? Well there is so much power in the same room. And it is out of our hands! It wears a uniform and firearm and is the embodiment of the law. We know the consequences of deviance. And those consequences are scary and harsh enough that we may sweat over absolutely nothing.

Some positions in life come with power and that is just how it is. How could a police officer perform the job well without power? No authority? No one would listen and the law would not be enforced. So some positions in life presuppose power and should hold power. This is just how society holds together. We need leaders and we need people in control. But other positions are a little less dependant on authority. Less power-related positions may simply be about "running the ship smoothly". Management roles would fit into this category. A management role is to ensure that whatever task needs to be accomplished is just that-being accomplished. And accomplished well of course. With as little "bumps in the road" as possible.

But i'm getting all tangled up in rhetoric. Let's attack this question "Do people crave power?" And I would say yes they do. But there is an irony in this craving that has been poking at my mind all day.

To crave power is to crave security. It is almost like a barrier against the ego. We want to reach positions of power in life because it's the "safe zone". We dislike being questioned, poked and prodded. Power comes in different forms. Some are healthy forms. To be humble, for example, is in my opinion a position of great power. That is, the control of our own emotions. However, insecurity is a plague for those seeking power.

I want to say that in order for someone to pursue power. They should first pursue humbleness. In fact, I am nothing before I am a writer. I am nothing before I cook. I am nothing before I do anything. I am nothing. Under this attitude I hold no ego. Any ego that may surround me is put on by others. People may like devon reid for various reasons. Friends-for company. Co-workers-for work ethic. Women-for love. etc etc. But that is what I would call "external ego". I do not seek these things. They have come to me through various avenues.

Of course i've struggled for positions of power. Hockey tryouts come to mind. I have sought affirmation of talent. Publishing poetry comes to mind. But over the years i've gained a sort of "love for devon" that is sort of my way of dealing with the inevitable shitfalls in life. Yes, life will throw curve balls. And not everyone is going to like you. Some may downright dislike you. Some may even want to beat the fuck out of you and possibly kill you! It's important to be able to make fun of ourselves.

I know those in positions of authority who don't seem to enjoy when the "jokes on them". Well you are even more of a joke when you can't laugh at yourself. Then we return to the irony of an insecure person seeking power. Nobody will accept your position while you show a degree of insecurity. This is the "wrong kind of power" i'm referring to. So this is the irony. Often those in positions of power are the most insecure in those positions.

There is nothing weaker than someone who cannot take a joke. Or someone who lies and creates a false image.

-dev

Playing A Beat

I play a beat just to see those eyes become alive
Watching the fire dance in dark brown thrillers
Page turners inciting violence in love starved killers
Or weak stomachs cause I can hardly stutter
A h-h-h-hello
Calm down dev stay mellow you know
In the end day you'll be ok
Though the stormy weather and heartbreak
The way you squeezed my hand showing me whats at stake
Like if i let go i'll forget so much of what it is
What is was and could be
Blind wishing to see the truth as if we could manage
It all before the coming fall
Before the coming crowded shopping mall
Complicating my small town
I play a beat just to relax and come down 

-dev

This Wednesday

Eminem Complex Magazine Covers

CunninLynguists-To Be For Real

Some are real as the line in their big face bill
Others are counterfeit living off of Xerox meal
Quickly coming out their mouth like they put out grills
See the traffic in the sky but you take off still
Living the high life or limelight, I just like the light lime
Fabricating your life, I just have to write mine
Be ahead of the game, gotta have the right mind
I just do it while others just want the nike sign
I respect grind, finish line is asinine
Don't roam, quit stop pretending sometime after nine
This is real life, shit gets physical
Pixar gangster niggas I find pitiful
Trying to back the rep you create is just criminal
Stop lying, flatline digital sales minimal
Defibrillators for your career, no one's feeling you
A hundred cc's of truth in your life is critical

 Listen, maybe Sade can tell you how love rock
Play it in the liquor store or in the drug spots
We all want love but tell me what's love got
We'll love you till it changes who you are then love stops
We loved Mike, we loved Elvis, we loved Pac
If that's love nigga, maybe we should all love not
Paparazzi love got us fiending for love shots
Trying to fill a void, just a hole where love rots
Maybe it's a phase, may it be a chapter
Just another story you can think on with laughter
So either leave or come American disaster
Behind all the Maybelline, dry wall and plaster
Under the million dollar rug swept ashes
And billion dollar lives that make debts from assets
The fast escape, run from who they are
I'd run from self but no man can run that far

Emeli Sande-Suitcase

Blurbs From The Phone

These are things i've wrote on my phone in the past little while. The spaces represent different entries on different days. 

Coffee Shop Romance

Between hard pulsing heartbeats he manages a hello. And the rest is history.

I steal glances. And your aware you'll never get them back. We sit beside each other for hours. A tension forms because she wants me and i'm a coward. Don't think i've never laid in bed all fucked up thinking this is it. Don't think i've never twisted up my blankets over "this is it". 

Reading list ( A hilarious endeavour)
Catcher In The Rye
Pride And Prejudice

If I come out of this tunnel i'll be different on the otherside.
If I can speak these words from the heart i'll confide.
Nobody should be alone like this.
Too scared to invite you out for wine.
Trembling at the thought of a kiss.
Feeling like this...
Is life itself
If the wind is my saviour let me spread my arms and breathe deep.

Super high at Stellas right now.
Writing this note so I don't look so high lol

Sweating and wondering if I can get any higher
Ignore the text from the ex calling me a liar
Right now i'm simply concerned with my desire.

In a peaceful place i'm surrounded by dark thoughts.
Can anyone see it on my face?


-dev

Abstract Artform

Young Kidd ft Lotto & Teddy T- So Good