Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Solace.
I want to cry
because maybe that will let it all out
but those tears have done dried
and i've done sighed
and made my way through all this shit
so why am I up at all hours
thinking of you.
My problems lay in the confines of the unexplainable
who am i to say what's going on in that pretty head of yours
I just know you smelt good
and i found solace in your heartbeat
boom boom boom
get me the fuck out of this room
i just want to lace up my runners
and tear off across this prarie
this land I find dead and alive at the same time
bright with the optimism of the young heart
dark with the failed attempts of reaching success
you give and you let go
a little more than the other
i try and pass my knowledge down to my younger brother.
My poetry is all over the place
like the wind
it lightly brushes and catches the breath
and you can only feel life once you notice it being taken away
don't cry because i hate seeing your tears
I don't want to rip it all up because in a second i'll regret it
and no amounts of super glue and apologies will take back the stupid shit i said.
Who am I to say what's going on in that pretty head of yours
when you grabbed my hand.
and i felt you shiver and shudder.
because of those men whom had laid hands on you before me
when you speak, the words come out of your eyes
and i trust them because they glisten and sparkle
they open and they close
but most of all they look upon me.
you look into my eyes when we make love
and I can tell I am working us towards a better future.
It's solace
the inner peace the troubled mind breathes from his mind while staring at the moon
the moon so far away
the peace so far away
the bottle so close to the lips
the endless hours serving for tips
it's all so fucking far away
while I dip my feet in the cold lake water
and count the stars
hoping for one to fall
so I can take off on my horse and catch it.
Then I would hold the light
and I could share it with those dwelling in the sewers.
It would illuminate those huddled in corners
Let em shine.
And find the solace.
because maybe that will let it all out
but those tears have done dried
and i've done sighed
and made my way through all this shit
so why am I up at all hours
thinking of you.
My problems lay in the confines of the unexplainable
who am i to say what's going on in that pretty head of yours
I just know you smelt good
and i found solace in your heartbeat
boom boom boom
get me the fuck out of this room
i just want to lace up my runners
and tear off across this prarie
this land I find dead and alive at the same time
bright with the optimism of the young heart
dark with the failed attempts of reaching success
you give and you let go
a little more than the other
i try and pass my knowledge down to my younger brother.
My poetry is all over the place
like the wind
it lightly brushes and catches the breath
and you can only feel life once you notice it being taken away
don't cry because i hate seeing your tears
I don't want to rip it all up because in a second i'll regret it
and no amounts of super glue and apologies will take back the stupid shit i said.
Who am I to say what's going on in that pretty head of yours
when you grabbed my hand.
and i felt you shiver and shudder.
because of those men whom had laid hands on you before me
when you speak, the words come out of your eyes
and i trust them because they glisten and sparkle
they open and they close
but most of all they look upon me.
you look into my eyes when we make love
and I can tell I am working us towards a better future.
It's solace
the inner peace the troubled mind breathes from his mind while staring at the moon
the moon so far away
the peace so far away
the bottle so close to the lips
the endless hours serving for tips
it's all so fucking far away
while I dip my feet in the cold lake water
and count the stars
hoping for one to fall
so I can take off on my horse and catch it.
Then I would hold the light
and I could share it with those dwelling in the sewers.
It would illuminate those huddled in corners
Let em shine.
And find the solace.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Monsters In The Closet
I want to run my lips along that little scar above your bellybutton.
The one you got as a kid when you fell off the bike,
Wish i could have stopped all the others.
From hurting you.
The many tears running down your pretty face.
But girl you got that smile.
That charm.
That little twist of your hips.
Got all the eyes turning your way.
Some are monsters.
Watch out girl.
Cause some have fangs.
And they just want to get in and get out.
Taking a part of you with them.
Wish I could fight those monsters hiding in your closet.
Don't let that makeup run.
For those who aint willing to wipe it away.
Pull back the curtains cause it's a sunny day.
Turn on the radio and dance around in your underwear.
You're shaking your head around.
A cascade of dark brown.
With bright eyes like lightning.
I want to spend time in that storm.
I want to pull you close under this umbrella.
Whisper promises in your ear I hope I can keep.
Like I'll always be there.
With a comforting smile and a cuddle to share.
So don't fret.
I know there's been some monsters.
With claws and vicious lies.
Hiding away in the closet.
They call out with promises of warmth and safety.
But it'll be a cold dark world for you babe.
I've seen it all too often.
Wish I could fight those monsters hiding in your closet.
Raise my fists for this love.
Heart pounding, i'm sweating, i'm ready.
To take on these creatures of the night.
Whose only perogative is a late night call.
With promises of warmth in their ice cold touch.
So when they whisper false prophets in the night.
Hiding away in the closet.
Find my bright blue eyes in the thick of the night.
I'll be writing this poem that'll change the world.
It'll shift thoughts and move mountains.
But for now I'll listen to your story.
How you've been used and abused.
And promise we aren't all monsters in your closet.
Wish I could fight those monsters hiding in your closet.
The one you got as a kid when you fell off the bike,
Wish i could have stopped all the others.
From hurting you.
The many tears running down your pretty face.
But girl you got that smile.
That charm.
That little twist of your hips.
Got all the eyes turning your way.
Some are monsters.
Watch out girl.
Cause some have fangs.
And they just want to get in and get out.
Taking a part of you with them.
Wish I could fight those monsters hiding in your closet.
Don't let that makeup run.
For those who aint willing to wipe it away.
Pull back the curtains cause it's a sunny day.
Turn on the radio and dance around in your underwear.
You're shaking your head around.
A cascade of dark brown.
With bright eyes like lightning.
I want to spend time in that storm.
I want to pull you close under this umbrella.
Whisper promises in your ear I hope I can keep.
Like I'll always be there.
With a comforting smile and a cuddle to share.
So don't fret.
I know there's been some monsters.
With claws and vicious lies.
Hiding away in the closet.
They call out with promises of warmth and safety.
But it'll be a cold dark world for you babe.
I've seen it all too often.
Wish I could fight those monsters hiding in your closet.
Raise my fists for this love.
Heart pounding, i'm sweating, i'm ready.
To take on these creatures of the night.
Whose only perogative is a late night call.
With promises of warmth in their ice cold touch.
So when they whisper false prophets in the night.
Hiding away in the closet.
Find my bright blue eyes in the thick of the night.
I'll be writing this poem that'll change the world.
It'll shift thoughts and move mountains.
But for now I'll listen to your story.
How you've been used and abused.
And promise we aren't all monsters in your closet.
Wish I could fight those monsters hiding in your closet.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Getting Away
Could I just get a word?
In this onslaught of accusations.
I'm oh so new to these uncomfortable sensations.
Friends quickly turned to worthy adversaries.
Wrong move here.
Checkmate and let's bring on the hate.
The fountain of youth ran dry.
And I'm being told not to cry.
Be strong even though the shadows get bigger.
I see you walking away in the afternoon sun.
So if you see me around town just know i'm on the run.
Yeah, i'm on the run.
And my pace is nothing like I've felt before.
The right words never coming to me.
I'm getting away.
I'm getting away.
Mama i'm sorry I haven't been in touch I've just been getting away.
Early morning waiting for sun to rise.
I'm so fucking tired of throwing on this disguise.
Like everythings ok.
Yeah right.
I'm up at all hours, bloodshot eyes follow me in the night,
I don't want to look in the drawer.
With the note I wrote.
With blood sweat and tears I got over you.
And now I don't want to look back.
I just keep remembering the bad times.
They weigh heavy on my back.
Maybe if you spent the time to let me know why you left.
Maybe if you spent a small second just to put your arms around me.
And tell me everything will be ok.
I know you were scared.
But I was scarred.
Too much time spend lingering by the window.
Staring into nothing.
Wondering why I didn't make the cut.
Should've spoke up.
Should've opened up.
Things didn't have to be this way.
I'm packing my bags.
Catching a greyhound cross country and getting away.
Mama i'm sorry I haven't written.
Friends..i'm sorry I've been so cold.
It's just this give and take with the world is getting old.
It's a little one sided.
I keep telling myself it'll all work out in the end.
That this heartbreak will make me stronger.
Long journey, your eyes can be my lights.
Your body, my warmth.
Your laugh, my safety.
Your kiss, my breath.
Is everything going to be ok?
Is it?
I'm asking you girl is everything going to be ok?
I don't want to be alone no more please don't go away.
But if you do.
Just a little heads up if you're getting away.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Money.
What can I say, money makes the world go round.
Cash rules everything around me.
You get the picture.
I dropped some of my feelings on money.
This is a new thing i'm also bringing to the blog. Because while I do enjoy writing I also enjoy talking.
Cash rules everything around me.
You get the picture.
I dropped some of my feelings on money.
This is a new thing i'm also bringing to the blog. Because while I do enjoy writing I also enjoy talking.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
2am
February is a fucked up month..
Some days being nice and warm and then there's a night like tonight..desolate and cold.
Still gathered up the will to walk over to the beer store and grab a couple king cans.
Spent the evening with a lovely lady sipping red wine and talking about life. Love the fact that we can just sit there and talk for hours on end. Still, I'm taking things slow and I hope she's ok with that. I've been through some shit..as somebody who has read this blog will know.
I'm not out to hurt anyone. It's a downfall of mine. I tend to put other feelings ahead of mine. We can hurt people that way. Ironic right? Hurting people we mean to help. But there is such a thing as being "too nice"
Make your stand is all I can say. Make your stand on how you feel. We all know in our hearts how we feel. Don't deny yourself to yourself lol Seems like a silly and easy concept to grasp but we lie to ourselves often,
Enough preaching. Shit. Like I said i'm sipping on a king can and burning dvds. I picked up a case of blank dvds from shoppers drug mart cause i'm wayyy too lazy to take the bus ride down to polo and then the subsequent 4 block walk to wal-mart. I've always silently ranted "Why can't there be a wal-mart closer to me" I know its a pretty evil corporation that kills small businesses. But still..roll back those prices motherfuckers!
My dad finally responded to my email after 2.5 weeks. Ah well he's a busy guy. And I can honestly say he's changed 100 times for the better over the past couple years. His failed relationship with leslie truly made him realize he has nobody except for family. It's a harsh eye-opener. And I know he harbors some guilt. But I love how our relationship has strengthened. I just wish the rest of my siblings could say the same. But then again, I always stood by his side. Sure, at times i literally wanted to kill him. But I never turned my back on him. Call it foolish devotion. I call it love. Meh, yeah I do believe in the hallmark postcard love. The gag-me-with-a-spoon love. It exists in the harsh times. The true push comes to shoves. We see our true friends and true love in the darkest of hours. Feel free to tweet that.
One thing I never want to do is allow heartbreak to define me. I see it all around me. Guys make attempts at covering the pain by distributing pain. My heart leads me down many paths. And I am a sucker and I follow. But I wouldn't live any other way. My life is not something to be figured out or rationally thought out. It's a crazy fucking mess.
March is approaching fast-real fast. Seems like this month flew by in a blink of an eye. No matter, february isn't my favourite month.
Let the summer months drag and winter months fly by.
Peace and love.
Some days being nice and warm and then there's a night like tonight..desolate and cold.
Still gathered up the will to walk over to the beer store and grab a couple king cans.
Spent the evening with a lovely lady sipping red wine and talking about life. Love the fact that we can just sit there and talk for hours on end. Still, I'm taking things slow and I hope she's ok with that. I've been through some shit..as somebody who has read this blog will know.
I'm not out to hurt anyone. It's a downfall of mine. I tend to put other feelings ahead of mine. We can hurt people that way. Ironic right? Hurting people we mean to help. But there is such a thing as being "too nice"
Make your stand is all I can say. Make your stand on how you feel. We all know in our hearts how we feel. Don't deny yourself to yourself lol Seems like a silly and easy concept to grasp but we lie to ourselves often,
Enough preaching. Shit. Like I said i'm sipping on a king can and burning dvds. I picked up a case of blank dvds from shoppers drug mart cause i'm wayyy too lazy to take the bus ride down to polo and then the subsequent 4 block walk to wal-mart. I've always silently ranted "Why can't there be a wal-mart closer to me" I know its a pretty evil corporation that kills small businesses. But still..roll back those prices motherfuckers!
My dad finally responded to my email after 2.5 weeks. Ah well he's a busy guy. And I can honestly say he's changed 100 times for the better over the past couple years. His failed relationship with leslie truly made him realize he has nobody except for family. It's a harsh eye-opener. And I know he harbors some guilt. But I love how our relationship has strengthened. I just wish the rest of my siblings could say the same. But then again, I always stood by his side. Sure, at times i literally wanted to kill him. But I never turned my back on him. Call it foolish devotion. I call it love. Meh, yeah I do believe in the hallmark postcard love. The gag-me-with-a-spoon love. It exists in the harsh times. The true push comes to shoves. We see our true friends and true love in the darkest of hours. Feel free to tweet that.
One thing I never want to do is allow heartbreak to define me. I see it all around me. Guys make attempts at covering the pain by distributing pain. My heart leads me down many paths. And I am a sucker and I follow. But I wouldn't live any other way. My life is not something to be figured out or rationally thought out. It's a crazy fucking mess.
March is approaching fast-real fast. Seems like this month flew by in a blink of an eye. No matter, february isn't my favourite month.
Let the summer months drag and winter months fly by.
Peace and love.
Monday, February 18, 2013
2am
This is the first of a mini series of blogs I want to post titled "2am".
The idea is that i'm always up at 2am with tons of thoughts swirling around my head. Thought I'd start writing them down as a recurring theme.
I'm drinking my go-to beer molson dry wishing i had a joint. Tonight my mind is on the past. I'm feeling very nostalgic.
It's fascinating to watch people change. Even more fascinating to watch myself change. To think back on the past five years and see what formed the 2013 devon.
But inevitably thinking of the past brings me to you. Who shall remain nameless like voldemort. I realize i just said voldemorts name. Opps!
I guess that's it between us.
Look, I accept it all. I accept you don't want me talking to you. I accept everything that's led to where we're at now. But I definitely don't like it.
I got home from the rap show a couple days ago and finally admitted to myself that I miss you. I think I'll always have a spot for you in my heart. I'll always have an interest in what you're doing and how you're feeling. I still feel slightly protective of you.
I guess the way I think. How I conjur up these perfect worlds in my head. Kinda fucks me over. Cause I believe in it and I push for it. But you can't see eye to eye with everyone. I mean the brain is a unique thing. We all have our own individual thought patterns.
Speaking of perfect worlds. How do I make things work with the new girl? When it already seems like the odds are stacked up against us. I feel like I should even be tripping about it anyways though. Certainly not at 2am with a beer in my hand. 2am thoughts should be deep. Damn, I gotta admit I feel these problems are pretty surface level. They aren't really that important in the long run.
Hah, the long run. I want kids I want the house I want the wife. I really want kids to. I'm one of those people that just wants to reach that level in life. I want to pass on my knowledge to my seed. I don't tend to construct my life in terms of justification or a "meaning". To me the beauty of life is how meaningless it all is. How random and beautiful and twisted and unforgiving it all is.
I'm really forcing this all out. I hate neglecting the blog. I've been posting pictures I find on the net and save on my computer as filler. But these posts are what I really enjoy. A chance to free-write and maybe discover some thoughts. It is a public blog thought and I do get views. Although I didn't get the 200 views a month I wanted for january. And I'll never get views if I don't post.
"I just looked up the urban dictionary definition for philly blunt. Cause i made some firecrackers and they looked like blunts. Here's on of the definitions for "philly blunt"
i might do something with that god thing. i'm a big supporter of how personal and person-to-person spirituality is.
The idea is that i'm always up at 2am with tons of thoughts swirling around my head. Thought I'd start writing them down as a recurring theme.
I'm drinking my go-to beer molson dry wishing i had a joint. Tonight my mind is on the past. I'm feeling very nostalgic.
It's fascinating to watch people change. Even more fascinating to watch myself change. To think back on the past five years and see what formed the 2013 devon.
But inevitably thinking of the past brings me to you. Who shall remain nameless like voldemort. I realize i just said voldemorts name. Opps!
I guess that's it between us.
Look, I accept it all. I accept you don't want me talking to you. I accept everything that's led to where we're at now. But I definitely don't like it.
I got home from the rap show a couple days ago and finally admitted to myself that I miss you. I think I'll always have a spot for you in my heart. I'll always have an interest in what you're doing and how you're feeling. I still feel slightly protective of you.
I guess the way I think. How I conjur up these perfect worlds in my head. Kinda fucks me over. Cause I believe in it and I push for it. But you can't see eye to eye with everyone. I mean the brain is a unique thing. We all have our own individual thought patterns.
Speaking of perfect worlds. How do I make things work with the new girl? When it already seems like the odds are stacked up against us. I feel like I should even be tripping about it anyways though. Certainly not at 2am with a beer in my hand. 2am thoughts should be deep. Damn, I gotta admit I feel these problems are pretty surface level. They aren't really that important in the long run.
Hah, the long run. I want kids I want the house I want the wife. I really want kids to. I'm one of those people that just wants to reach that level in life. I want to pass on my knowledge to my seed. I don't tend to construct my life in terms of justification or a "meaning". To me the beauty of life is how meaningless it all is. How random and beautiful and twisted and unforgiving it all is.
I'm really forcing this all out. I hate neglecting the blog. I've been posting pictures I find on the net and save on my computer as filler. But these posts are what I really enjoy. A chance to free-write and maybe discover some thoughts. It is a public blog thought and I do get views. Although I didn't get the 200 views a month I wanted for january. And I'll never get views if I don't post.
"I just looked up the urban dictionary definition for philly blunt. Cause i made some firecrackers and they looked like blunts. Here's on of the definitions for "philly blunt"
When a girl is finished fucking her bend over
boyfriend and she takes a shit on his dick and then uses a butter knife
to spread it evenly on all surfaces and then lights the tip on fire.
I Philly blunted that fool last night."
I think thats fucking hilarious
Let me do a little writing. Excuse me if its messy,
Young feet touch the cobblestone pavement.
Young hearts reach out to the stars.
In hope of a sign.
Of incoming love and many riches.
We were laying in our favourite field.
When I fielded a question.
I said what would you without me.
She said I wouldn't be the woman I am.
I'd still be with that young child who called himself a man.
I sigh cause her past abuse makes me want to cry.
Makes me want to choke some dudes.
But nowadays I'm not the hero I once was.
I'm the one you diss and dismiss and refuse to kiss.
Hah...
The one you diss, dismiss and refuse to kiss.
Young hearts thrive on optimism.
Cause I know i'm gonna turn this insta noodles into a steak dinner.
I'm gonna make my fam proud and become a winner.
Go ahead and point your fingers.
I thrive on being a sinner.
Cause I know my god aint your god.
And he'll never be.
I don't need to capitalize my gods name,
I don't need to organize the masses in my gods name.
I don't need to drop bombs.
I don't need to judge.
Nope, thats not my god.
My god doesn't promise me life after death.
No my god tells me to live my life cause it's all I got.
Most of all I don't need to wear my god as a patch.
He knows how I feel.
i might do something with that god thing. i'm a big supporter of how personal and person-to-person spirituality is.
word.
Night winnipeg.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Photobomb
It's a lovely Feb night. I just ate a whopper meal (woops). Things are going wel as I usually don't describe the two shittiest months in wpg as "lovely"
I'm in high spirits. And here's some photos to kick off a few posts i'll be making.
I'm in high spirits. And here's some photos to kick off a few posts i'll be making.
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