2am

February is a fucked up month..

Some days being nice and warm and then there's a night like tonight..desolate and cold.

Still gathered up the will to walk over to the beer store and grab a couple king cans.

Spent the evening with a lovely lady sipping red wine and talking about life. Love the fact that we can just sit there and talk for hours on end. Still, I'm taking things slow and I hope she's ok with that. I've been through some shit..as somebody who has read this blog will know.

I'm not out to hurt anyone. It's a downfall of mine. I tend to put other feelings ahead of mine. We can hurt people that way. Ironic right? Hurting people we mean to help. But there is such a thing as being "too nice"

Make your stand is all I can say. Make your stand on how you feel. We all know in our hearts how we feel. Don't deny yourself to yourself lol Seems like a silly and easy concept to grasp but we lie to ourselves often,

Enough preaching. Shit. Like I said i'm sipping on a king can and burning dvds. I picked up a case of blank dvds from shoppers drug mart cause i'm wayyy too lazy to take the bus ride down to polo and then the subsequent 4 block walk to wal-mart. I've always silently ranted "Why can't there be a wal-mart closer to me" I know its a pretty evil corporation that kills small businesses. But still..roll back those prices motherfuckers!

My dad finally responded to my email after 2.5 weeks. Ah well he's a busy guy. And I can honestly say he's changed 100 times for the better over the past couple years. His failed relationship with leslie truly made him realize he has nobody except for family. It's a harsh eye-opener. And I know he harbors some guilt. But I love how our relationship has strengthened. I just wish the rest of my siblings could say the same. But then again, I always stood by his side. Sure, at times i literally wanted to kill him. But I never turned my back on him. Call it foolish devotion. I call it love. Meh, yeah I do believe in the hallmark postcard love. The gag-me-with-a-spoon love. It exists in the harsh times. The true push comes to shoves. We see our true friends and true love in the darkest of hours. Feel free to tweet that.

One thing I never want to do is allow heartbreak to define me. I see it all around me. Guys make attempts at covering the pain by distributing pain. My heart leads me down many paths. And I am a sucker and I follow. But I wouldn't live any other way. My life is not something to be figured out or rationally thought out. It's a crazy fucking mess.

March is approaching fast-real fast. Seems like this month flew by in a blink of an eye. No matter, february isn't my favourite month.

Let the summer months drag and winter months fly by.

Peace and love.