Welcome to March-The defrosting of my city.

Blah, sorry I haven't stopped by this little corner of my psyche in awhile.

Wrote a little poem waiting for my group to arrive in the cafeteria today.

I'm not looking for love
But my eyes do wander
And my mind does drift
When our eyes meet I contemplate the possibilities
I've been hurt
And I've hurt others
Women who were lovers
Men who were brothers
I'm not looking for love
But my eyes do wander

My group is a funny batch of people. All completely different people. It inspires me to see such varying degrees of personality. One already holds a degree. I assume which he doesn't have much use for. So he's taking this entry-level english class in order to pursue something new. I feel for him being stuck in a class full of recent high school grads. He scares the other two girls. They seem intimidated and annoyed by his matter of fact way of speaking. The other two girls are both pursuing degrees in education. What else is new? Sorry, but that degree is so common. Everyone wants to be a teacher. I say goodluck. Anyways, one is rather boisterous and definitely remains vocal in order to make sure things go as she plans. Hah, the other girl has a boyfriend serving in the military. He's visiting for a week this friday. Our group is going first to present our project so she can take off early and hangout with him. I empathize with her. I did the long distance thing last year and know all too well how quickly that week is going to go by. I find myself fascinated with this relationship. I've spoken to her about how she feels, how he feels, etc etc. I imagine the hugging and the kissing of his arrival. The fast heartbeat as you spend time with the one you love. And that eventual pain that comes with his departure. I wish them the best of luck in their romance.

What about me? I suppose you'd have to ask one of them. I'm sure we all have different opinions of eachother. I find the two girls cute and young. Fresh out of high school. Me and the guy seem to get along well. We're both old men. It could be a sitcom.

Age plays a part in relationships. Well at least in my experience it does. I met a beatufiul and funny girl and my only reason for holding back is the age-gap. The time from late teens to early twenties is a life changing experience. I remember back then I would probably argue and tell my current self to fuck off. Well fuck you 17 year old devon lol. She was beautiful and funny and my god she was gorgeous. But it wasn't our time. I hope she can find herself someone she deserves. She doesn't deserve me. And I mean that honestly I would only bring heartache. Better to let things settle and just be friends.

My dad finally emailed me back. I was pissed about him waiting so long. But he told me he's going to send me $1000 in a week. I was taken aback. I mean I did outline my expenses to him. And my financial situation is rather bleak. But a g note? That's a little unsettling. I know he makes a lot of money and does not really have anything to do with it however. The guy makes well over a six figure salary and lives in a one bedroom apartment lol. I remember him saying he'd just rather live on the barracks and pay about half he's paying for that one bedroom apartment he has. He travels the world and is almost never home.

My dad? A changed man. I've said this before but his last breakup really affected him. I'm picturing some pretty rough things coming out of his ex-girlfriends mouth. But more so it's the reality check that comes with laying your head down in a hardly furnished one bedroom apartment. Not fun. Since then he's been reaching out to me. He seems to need my company so I oblige. I sit down with him monthly and have some beers and shoot the shit. I don't think he speaks to my other siblings. He's not all alone though. He's dating some lady in windsor ontario. Ah well. He'll be alright.

Me? Just keeping up with things. Got this last little bit of school to bang out. Then I'm planning on picking up full time hours at the restaurant. The restaurant's going well. What can I say-it's work. Cooking isn't my passion but I enjoy the people. It's not horrible to have beautiful girls in tight dresses walking around all the time. Yes I know-my fucking male gaze. Get over it.

That's it!
Peace & Love