Winnipeg's never ending winter has seemingly come to an end. Albeit the inevitable late may snowfall that'll leave everyone scratching their heads and wondering why they still live in this city.
I do get moments of panic while out and about Winnipeg. And that panic is centered around the fear i'll spend the rest of my life in Winnipeg. I don't want that. Do you? Hm.
For the majority living here it's a different story though. Most have large family ties here. Cousins, brothers, aunts and uncles. Big family dinners, gatherings, lake trips etc etc. Most people are tied down to Winnipeg-which isn't a bad thing at all.
Me? No family living here. Besides my dad and he's almost never in town. Pretty sure life will find him moving to Ottawa in the next few years. It's the logical step. He flies there a few times a month anyways. However last time we spoke he was sounding like he wants to just fly into ottawa and fly back a few times a week. Having two jobs in separate provinces is funny to me.
Ah well he'll do what he does. The man loves his work. And he's not slowing down anytime soon.
My lack of ties really defines me. I'm a solo dude. Always willing to accept another into my life but I have this feeling of confidence in being alone. I get lonely quite often here in this apartment though. But my ties are limited if any. I love my family but we are scattered across North America. We meet and hug hard and drink heavy while together. It's a celebration. But afterwards we fly back to our respective cities. Which goes like this:
Breagh-Port Alberni
Meaghan-Vancouver
Mom & Kellen-Portland
Tristan-New Jersey
Devon-Winnipeg
Independance can be attractive and unattractive depending on the values one has. I love to see family oriented people. And close knit families are awesome to me. But I simply do not have that and never will. So sometimes I get this feeling that i'm being judged when I do mention that my father and I don't have the strongest relationship. It's not my fault. Not entirely his either but there's a two way street when it comes to relationships. I get the feeling that a lot of people see the dysfunction between my father and I as a product of me being a young punk. That was always a fear of mine.
But those who know me well understand the dynamics of my family. More importantly, they view me as devon the individual. My relationship with family members is a non-issue with my friends. They know and appreciate devon reid and that's all that counts.
To be honest I have been babbling. But if you're still with me I did have a point to this blog. And it centers around happiness.
I was on twitter the other day and I realized that there are certain people I simply follow because of how insanely negative they are. Some tweets make me laugh with how ridiculous they can be. What I noticed about these people is how often they complain and how often they talk about how happy they are.
The complaints are just that-complaints. We can go into attention-seeking behaviour but that's for a different post.
What I found interesting were the "happy" posts. And it got me thinking into the different types of happiness.
Is there a raw happiness that is completely independant of other thought? What I mean by that is the notion of natural happiness that does not require anything else.
I would argue that yes-natural happiness exists. However, a different kind of happiness exists. And this is the happiness that is based on the misfortune of others.
What I see with these people is they are often unhappy. There are things in their lives that make them unhappy. This may be controversial but I think these people enjoy being unhappy. Insomuch as it gains them attention. Or makes for a good twitter post. To me, real depression comes with a silence. A silence that can be deadly at times. However twitter depression seems a bit less real to me. Everyone is different, but I find my real sad thoughts stay with me.
Those dark corner of my mind don't get published on twitter.
So when I do see happy posts by these people I can't help but wonder..why are you happy?
Is happiness capable of existing without sadness? Or does the ying need the yang. In order to be ying?
Hopefully I didn't get over any readers heads here. I'm just suspicious of the type of happy these daily complainers are. There seems to be a more pure happiness then simply saying "well today is better than the last"
Pure happiness is not a day to day thing. It's a perspective thing.
Also, lots of people are selfish in thinking that happiness is something that will just come into their life. No, you must surround yourself with happy people. Exude happiness. It's a karma type thing. The happiness that you put forth with find itself coming back to you.
It's being a good person. And unfortunately there's some people I know who just aren't good people.
Wish em the best though.
peace & love
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