I don't really need anyone right now. It's a nice feeling. After the break-up I was so needy. I literally attatched myself onto any female I could. I guess that comes with like having someone and then suddenly not. You sort of panic a little. Nowadays I'm a total social loner. The clubs don't appeal to me very much. I'd rather sit around and watch vice documentaries or a movie. I've been trying to combat the sedentary lifestyle by working out a bit. I don't have any equipment or barbells. But I'll do pushups and increase my number everyday. I'll shadowbox a bit with some music on to keep me pumped. I'm still out of shape. I was in total shape over the summer with all the bike riding I did. Then september rolled around and the weather got cold. So now i've just been doing what I can. Did I ever want to get into soccer. But it just didn't happen. I don't have the right connections for it. I'm going to try hard to make sure I play for a spring and summer team. As a goaltender or out whichever. I like goaltending though it gives me a special rush to be the last person between the ball and the net. But yeah, no connections. Spring for sure. In the new year i want to get skates and a stick and puck. Get back on the ice. Now that's a rush I haven't felt in a long time.
Yeah I am disillusioned with my current social situation. It's not that I don't love my friends. It's just that I want others that fit my lifestyle more. I got called out for leaving "early" on saturday night. By some drunk douchebag I don't consider my friend. "What kind of partier are you?" I'm a dude taking full time classes in University..what's the last paper you wrote?
The problem when you want to like move on from a social group. Cause that's what it is for me. I like the people in said group invidually but as a group..it's just not that fun. The problem is they take it so personally. Like I'm not saying i'm better than anyone here. Really it's like a breakup. I'm different now, you're no longer fitting into who i am anymore.
Forcing myself back to my paper.
Later
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