Getting Over A Break-up

I'm a big fan of lists. So I compiled a list of ways to make a break-up easier for both sides.

1. Understand what a break-up means. It's not a fight. It's not something thats going to stregthen your relationship. It's over. When you dump someone it's because you are no longer happy/in love with them. When you are broken up with its because that person is moving on from you. Understanding what the break-up means leads to acceptance. Acceptance might take awhile. But the first step is to say "Ok, we broke up, and it's over".
2. Allow yourself to grieve. Especially with men, the idea of crying and consoling others can be tough. Nobody wants to be a victim. But in a way you are a victim to your emotions. Both sides experience pain. Which leads me to my next point. I would recommend staying away from drugs and alchohol. There's a fine line between having a good time and leaning on substances as a crutch. Just give yourself time. Don't rush recovery. It's a natural process that will depend on the person you are and the person they are. 
3. You will both experience pain. I think the natural response to a break-up is to assume your in a worse position than the other person. This is more for someone who has been dumped. You think in your head that they are just off fucking everyone and living life to the fullest. Chances are that's not necessarily true. But even if it was, that has nothing to do with you anymore. You'll both experience pain from the break-up. One person may experience more. But don't assume your ex-partner is completely heartless. Remember, you loved them at some point right? 
4. Get used to seeing him/her out in social situations. If you share the same friend group. Or live in a smaller town like I do. Chances are you will run into your ex out and about in a social situation. And chances are this will be at a bar or party. This can make for akwardness. And that's probably your best kind of situation. Cause i've seen some really crazy shit go down between ex-couples. The akwardness is natural. You used to be with this person. Hanging out in the same crowd and not really interacting in the same way is strange. Its like a reality slap in the face. This goes back to my very first point. It's over. You no longer lay claim to what your ex does or how they act. This is a bittersweet feeling. Again, don't rush this. It'll take time before you can see them out and maybe even have a friendly chat. Trust me, when that happens it feels good. 
5. Develop yourself as an indivudal. Now that you're single-you're free! And that means you can pursue your dreams. Believe it or not being in a relationship can cause you to sit back and be cool with everything. Chase things you always wanted to do! Take cooking/art/dance classes. Write lots of blogs and re-connect with old friends. Take a trip! So many cool ideas. 
6. You will meet someone else. You gotta understand that you learn from each relationship. It allows you to adapt your own behaviour. It also allows you to know more about what you want. That feeling that he or she was the only one for you is silly. It'll pass. And you will meet someone who makes your ex look bad. This doesn't mean you have to hate your ex or carry on negative feelings. I see this far to often. People spend years being bitter! Your wasting your time. That being said, you did break up for a reason. You will meet someone else and be happy. Don't worry about that. But don't rush it. Don't immediately try and look for another partner. 
7. Try to not contact them. If you are contacting your ex. Only you can know if you are doing it for the right reasons. Often you need to arrange plans to pick up eachothers stuff. It's god awful. That's necessary communication though. After that, why are you texting your ex? Especially if they broke up with you, why even give them a piece of who you are anymore? If you broke up with your ex. Don't string them along or give them false hope. You'll cause more pain that way. 
8. Keep the sad songs and movies to a minimum. You may want to wallow in your own sorrow with a nice break-up song. And it's ok to every once in awhile allow yourself to cry. But don't delete all your songs off the ipod and replace them with the entire spill canvas discography. Movies are the same. Aim for comedy and action. I recommend weed movies. Even if you don't smoke they are careless and fun. Exactly how you want to be as a single person. 
9. Exercise!. Going for runs and walks is a great way to blow off steam. Team sports give you a feeling of belonging. It's also a great way to meet new people. 
10. Don't shit-talk. As much as you might want to. Don't shit-talk your ex to people. It's childish and makes you look worse when it gets around to your ex. It gives them the satisfaction of saying "well that's why we're over". The best revenge is to live life well. It sounds tacky but it's true. It's like dr dre famously said. "Keep my name out your mouth and i'll keep it the same"