Confessions

I get drunk on passionless embraces
Waking up to strange faces
Seems like things were all good so long as the high lasts
But I woke up realizing we'll never connect
Completely different pasts
And you're fucked up and so am I
So i'm wondering why I thought I could heal
When I should've focused in the mirror
Despite the sex I was up way past you wishing I could see her
That's her, not you. It' hurts because it's true
Nowadays I think of what it means to be a man
Not meeting the quota i'm over it all
I don't really invest myself in anyone
Scared of the incoming fall
I never could sleep with someone beside me
So I slip away...
Late night walking home, someones behind me
I clench a fist over a weapon I never could carry
Just knowing when I close my eyes I'm terrified at the knowledge...
I'll kill a man

-D.R

Beautiful Things

none of us want to be rejected by beautiful things
so we attempt to hold down what we love through diamond rings
but loyalty could never be bought
when your down and out and see their face
that's when you found the love you sought
dont ever let someone tell you off for following your heart
I feel that we don't give enough credit to the organ that makes the day start
nor for passions in theatre and art
you're calling me to bed while i'm up night writing
I need you to know that it was this very thing that brought me to you
how could I really know what I wanted until my poetry told me?
I spelled out your curves with my scrawls long before I was blessed with your face

-Dev

Poetry On My Breath

If the weight of the world finally claims my last step.

Just remember it was poetry on my mind

Poetry on my last breath.

Holding me, touching me
Forging your signature on my skin
As if I could ever be yours

You lied when you held me close and said "I love you"

You forced that and I believed it all

You ended things and I forced a...

It's ok

It's ok

It's ok

If i repeat it all quickly then things will be ok
If I drive real fast past the neon signs that beckon me with sin
Inviting love but never delivering
Guess I just gotta pick you up and drive so far away
Stop. Let's tell the truth. We both just want to shed clothes and breath real deep
I'm a little unhibited and my mother hates you for it
She wants me to find a girl bound to a small town
Not travelling the world with my heart in her hands
But I never relished safety with my passionate embraces
No, we can hang off this cliff edge
Just don't let me go.

Dev

Summer Nights

I watch her undress on a hot summer night 
Holding my breath as she unfolds many petals
Each carefully and precariously given out
And when it all unfolds I have all of her
But the winds come soon, I taste it in the air
And how can I touch her, feel her?
The way things are, I could bruise her
I could fuck up and lose her

-D

March 18/03

It's not the power I want
But the passion only held in the eyes
Without my heart i'm nothing in this disguise
Nor does the strength of a thousandmen interest me if I cannot hold upself up to the critics
I match the cold stares of inaffection with a warm smile.
And relish the freedom I've achieved from believing in myself



We were't convincing them as lovers
We hid from judgement
Caves made from covers
Nobody could touch what we created between us
A fortress of looks behind the backs of our current affairs
I don't mind the way he runs his hand along your back
Spilling his drink down his throat and swearing loudly.
Because I'll see you later on when you're finished yelling and he's passed out
We weren't convincing them as lovers



-D

Just Writing

it's just writing
but also intimacy
having the confidence to share part of myself
with no real idea what you're going to do with it
perhaps you'll just stop by and take away
a friend
a lover
probably somewhere in the middle
leading to the next line, the next spark of creativity
as I put down so eloquently
who I thought you were
and who I always wanted you to be
scrawls quite similar to those curves
so inviting while my hand shakes
fumbling in the night for the right move
always looking for the right groove
it's just writing
but also so much of me

-D

Pieces Of Myself

Pieces of myself falling from my pocket
scattering across a marble covered floor
stammering my apologies I lean down to collect what I have left
only to meet my reflection halfway to hell
"you're a mess" she remarks, foot resting on my heart
"where did you come from?"  I ask
she towers over me with a heel that could plunge through concrete
ready to drive her foot down and squish my heart
"try it" I gaze up with defiant eyes
and for a moment the heel hovered just above my heart
and then came crashing down
I watched as the heel struck my hardened heart
it didn't it didn't break it caused showers of emotion
and our past just exploded into the sky
for us to watch and fear
for us to learn.

-Dev