The Minefield Of Love

"Why do I never seem to learn"?

Often people ask themselves this question when it comes to relationships. Whether it's pursuing a broken relationship, creating a new one, or watching what you thought was working fail.

Why do we never seem to learn? I was thinking about this question in regards to our relationships and it provoked some thought I figured I'd share.

Affection lacks the context we often refer to when fixing errors. It's not something we can point to and remark "there..that's what I did wrong..never again".

We are animals and we crave a mate for multiple reasons. And love is a form of insanity..a good form of insanity. But what insanity really really lacks is sense and rationality. And love fits into the category of lacking sense and rationality.

Of course, it doesn't have to be love. But affection is a tricky emotion that tends to be at odds with our rational and empirical real world thought. We don't add things up the same way when it comes to love and affection. So there seems to be two sides of us that can be at odds when it comes to affection. You very well may know that this person is not going to bring you happiness in the long run. You may have tried and tried and viewed the results. But you still find yourself reaching out to them. Or buying into their claims of "one more chance".

Chasing affection is sort of a dangerous game that can be incredibly rewarding but also painful. And there's no real solution. We sort of step onto the minefield and leap around hoping we find something that will last. And like little explosions we enter in and out of relationships slowly learning by the catastrophes. Our rational side saying "I got this, you just don't want that anymore". But in the end we can just hope we meet that right person.

So if you're beating yourself up for going back to him/her. No worries. It's just your primal sex/mate driven side defeating your rational empirical side. And when it comes to life our hearts tend to make the final decision.

-Devon