Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Bad Days Can Be Fatal

Two teenage kids killed themselves over the past weekend.

And I wonder how they could have done it.

I've had dark days. That's for sure. But the idea of taking my own life is beyond me. However, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I remember someone saying "suicide is selfish"-referring to the people they leave behind and the suffering it causes. But i've always viewed suicide as an escape from pain. Sometimes a very long period of pain that goes untreated. I don't know about suicide being "selfish" because life is the best thing we have. Life is our reality and to take our own existence away is far from thinking simply of ourselves.

Suicide can be a result of long untreated depression. But in the case of the two suicide's over the past weekend it seems to show that their are different types of suicidal thoughts that can occur. The two kids had been involved romantically and when the girl ended her own life, the boy chose to end his own life shortly after. No doubt a reaction to the extreme pain and darkness he felt enveloped in. Suicide can be a quick and deadly decision or it can be premediated throughout weeks and months.

The Bridge Documentary

How can we prevent this? Laudible is the reaction from mental health experts advocating for increased awareness, funding, and support for mental health throughout schools. I agree that mental health takes a lesser role when we speak of health. Ever tried calling into work sad? You'd probably be laughed at and told to come in or face repercussions. Calling in sad is not an option. Nor is missing school or assignments really viewed as an option. People don't feel like their mental health is really going to understood or taken seriously by others. We also live in a society that harshly criticizes or over analyzes one's mental health. Not clinically depressed? Get over it. I've had people tell me that depression is much different than someone having a bad day. And while I agree that the parameters of clinical depression may be different than a "bad day" I don't agree that takes away from how tragic a bad day can be in one's life. If they do so choose to end their own life from a bad day then I think it's perfectly normal to treat the situation with the same care and attention we would from someone suffering depression.

A bad day is a form of depression. Bad days that string together into bad weeks and months are a form of depression. It may not be entirely clinical in the sense of lifelong depression and anxiety but it's sure as hell just as deadly. I'm no mental health expert but the field has intrigued me for a variety of different reasons. Mostly I feel that we could learn so much more about eachother and become much more empathetic creatures but understanding the mental nuances we all go through. I try to reminds myself of these nuances when I go about my life. This person may be having a bad day-often that statement runs through my head. And when i'm having a bad day I ty to be aware that I could easily bring other people down with me.

As I said-not a mental health expert. But I've written about different forms of happiness before and I think it's important to touch on that again. The simple things in life as opposed to materialistic creations. Organic vs Non-Organic forms of happiness.

More of us need to ask ourselves "what makes us happy"? and celebrate those things. Make time for what truly causes us to smile. We need more balance in our lives between those things and materialistic endeavours. Yes we all want to be successful and to do well in life. But what is the point if we aren't happy? What is the point of your relationship if you are consistently on edge and fighting? Are you really better off with that person rather than being alone? If you are pursuing a career in order to be financially stable there is nothing wrong with that. But again, ask yourself, what makes me happy? You'll find it's not so much the paycheque as it is the value you place on your work and the relationships you form with co-workers. You'll find it's mostly in your off-time spending time with friends and family. These things cannot be purchased. They do not exist as a creation in a factory or a purchase at the shopping mall. They exist in our hearts. In the embraces we make. The beauty of life is even in our tears. Because we cannot sell our emotions. And despite all our differences and places in life we have all wiped tears from our face.

One last point. We've all been down. We know what a bad day is and it's not for us to judge anothers bad day. Don't say to someone that says "i'm feeling depressed" that they don't have real depression or don't know what true sadness is. Those could prove to be fatal words. Instead just listen and offer support. It's not so much relating to the indivudal as connecting with them. The wisest words lie in our experience. And sometimes we need to mount those painful experiences on our shoulders and utilize them to help another.

In my opinion humans have never grown from shoving eachother aside and pursuing solitary goals. It's only when we connect that wonderful things happen. Reminding me of some rhymes I wrote some time ago.

I want my foes to fear me
Judging eyes to clear me
So I can gain a new fan in a little kid sitting with a blank notebook
A soon to be hope book
As soon be recluse and reservation from a forced destination
Cause in this world we don't always see our dreams played out
But we take what we can and forge our own route
We don't always have the power to chase individual schemes
But if we come together as one, than we can achieve bigger things



-Devon

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