And then the rest of the course proved that we are really at the whim of larger societal forces.
I've often wrestled with this idea. My lack of freedom. Especially bothersome to me is freedom of thought. The old prison analogy "you can lock my body but never my mind" has always rung true to me. Despite being behind bars a prisoner can still free their mind through literature, poetry, and all other forms of art.
But how large of a role does society play in my so-called "freedom of mind"
How large of a role did my upbringing, parents divorce, and my travels play into my current mindset?
It seems one of those impossible questions. But I will say I do feel I have some freedoms that aren't influenced entirely by outside forces.
Something that comes to mind is how I interpret my actions and the actions of others. I find that we too-often get caught up in a certain moment or day. We do have the freedom to be positive, to connect with others, and to forgive. This is a human nature freedom. Despite my sociologys professor's claim that "we aren't free". We actually have the power to interpret our world in a certain way. And in doing so, we can create the world around us. Our perspectives will play a large role in how our lives will go (and how they are going now)
This was all inspired by an incident that occured on the bus earlier today. The bus had filled up and there was a man sitting in the back with a duffle bag placed on the seat beside him. A woman approached and asked if he could move her bag so she could sit there. The man refused. Not for any real reason besides that "he paid his fare" and "carried this bag all day". Despite several other people (including me, and i'll get to that in a second) telling him to move the bag..he flatly refused.
Now, here's a guy who has chosen his fate. He has distanced himself from his fellow humans in such a way that he cannot comprehend the idea that perhaps this woman had a long day and just wanted a seat on the bus going home.
Later on during the ride, a man offered a woman carrying some shopping bags a seat. She politely declined. The seat-denier spoke up: "You see, you offer people things and they don't even take it, if you ask me we live in a stupid society"
So be it. But unfortunately things escalated. He was especially pissing off a rather big guy sitting in the seat next to the bag. This guy repeatedly told him to move his bag and became angrier and angrier over the course of the ride. Nearing downtown, I watched him put his music away and I knew he was going to do something. The big guy grabs the bag and tries to wrestle it out of the hands of the seat-denier. Letting him know: "you're lucky we're on camera right now buddy"
And what do I do? Give the seat-denier the finger like a little kid.
My freedom is my ability to understand I took things too far. I understand the overall frustration of the situation. But part of my ideology is to connect with people. Yeah, the guy was being a prick. But yelling obscenities and attempting to grab his bag took things too far. Because it's also his freedom to disconnect.
I'm often torn between the urge to punch people and hug them. I know for a fact that the altercation that occured on that bus was unhealthy for all our minds. Our frustration overshadowed rationality. And the seat-denier just has another reason to "hate society"
We have freedom of choice. Well, at least I hope so. But I do know i'm really working to fix my mistakes and not allow my emotions to get the better of me. My future depends on me believing in things I do and say.
All I know is I'll be approaching a situation like that differently next time.
And that, my readers, is my freedom.
-Dev
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