Dec 25/12-Christmas Day

Well my trip out to Portland has been fucking refreshing. It's like my soul took a shower, shaved, dressed in a nice suit and is about to kill an interview. I leave in a couple days so i thought i'd take the change to get a blog entry done. My personal blog never gets enough attention. I'm always caught up with facebook, twitter, and youtube channels. On top of that I frequent the joe rogan podcast. www.joerogan.net. So getting to my own thoughts can be challenging sometimes. And since I am kinda stuck in a crowded house I can't self-talk without everyone finding me crazy. I'll probably do a post on self-talking if you're like whaa? Eitherway i'm here and the fingers have begun to scramble across the keyboard.

I combined the mayan prophecy with the end of the year in some philosophical musings related to improving my life. Usually i'm not about that at all. It's cliche to have things you're going to "work" on in the new year. Like i'm gonna hit the gym, save money, blah blah blah. But my goal is more of a focus on what makes me happy. I do live for others more than I should. I have an idea of who I want devon reid to be and I want to pursue that. I shockingly just discovered sticky notes on my computer. I was like jeez there should be some kind of virtual post-it notes I can put on my desktop. Sure enough there it was under accessories. So I made some post it notes regarding self-improvement and article ideas. I'm taking a slew of english courses next term so I want to have some ideas handy to write about.

I'm happy. And its weird how much you realize how unhappy you are until you actually get happy. Hah, sounds like some riddle meant to mess with the head. But I feel so different now. When you're missing somebody is frustrating cause you're no longer in control. You're kind of led to the water by your unhappiness. When you come out of that is a free feeling. Like a horse that has broken its bonds and is now running wild. That's how I feel. Like some bad-ass horse with the whole world to explore. So I feel good. And I'm glad I can say that and have it be the truth. Not just something i'm telling myself. I still have some money problems. But once those get resolved I am ready to begin saving. Gotta get out of the hole before you can fill it in.

Outside it's rainy. It's been pretty much straight rain since I arrived. It's winter so it pretty much rains constantly for the next couple months. It does put a damper on things. My mom hates winnipeg because of the climate. But I think i'd prefer a nice sunny winter day. Here the sun barely peeks out-and thats for a couple hours MAX. I wouldn't mind if the fog wasn't covering my view of the mountains. Nothing like some huge mountains to humble you. I just wish it was sunny so I could go do something. Maybe a jog or a walk. My mom lives on this god-awful hill that makes going for a walk a huge workout. Ah well, I need it. I think kellen and I are heading to go see Django something or other in an hour or so. I'll link the trailer. It's directed my quentin tarentino so i have high hopes. Although he has dissapointed me in the past.

Hmm, anything else to report on...nothing is coming to my mind. Hope my readers are having a good christmas day. I'm going to gorge on some honey ham and plenty sides tonight. tomorrow brings boxing day-i'll probably buy a new hoodie if I can find one for the right price. Maaybe a pair of jeans-but i'm gonna be pretty frugal.

Oh one last thing. It's funny how secular my christmas celebrations are. My mom sent me out to get christmas cards and she's like get the unicef cards-not the ones about god lol. We almost didn't even have a tree this year and didn't do stockings. You know they say jesus is the reason for the season. But to our family its more about getting together and showing love.

So whatever your faith-show some love this season.

Signing out.