The Break-Up

"You always ask where i'm going when I leave
And I struggle with the question because
I truly don't know.
It's not that i'm searching for anything.
And i'm certainly not trying to leave you.
No, you mean the world to me.
I'm just..i'm just going to be by myself for awhile.
I have some stuff to work out"

"So what, you can't talk to me?!"

She's posed on the couch. A fight she's been waiting on for awhile.

I've got one shoe on. And maybe that's how it always was. Halfway out the door.

"Whatever it is you're looking for devon..it's not me"

"Don't speak like that babe. When you speak like that the whole world feels so heavy on my shoulders. When you speak like that...I feel like you're leaving me"

"I'm not leaving you! You're the one who has his shoes on. Going for one of your 'walks' Whatever the fuck it means! You're the one who leaves. You've always been so distanced from me"
I can't stop myself as the words tumble out of my mouth

"You're always looking for constant reminders that I love you. Why? Can't you just take my word for it? I hate how you read my poetry looking for yourself in every line.
It's not always about you!"

And that final sentence seemed to echo around the room. It swirled around my head and I could tell it swirled around her head.
And I could tell it hurt her. Because she wanted it to be all about her.
It should've been really. I mean, what else did I have?

And I felt that I had done something. Like ripping the bandage off part way. I had to finish it. How could I drag her along like this?

The truth behind my walks. I often thought of leaving her. Leaving the city. I wasn't happy. So I spoke.

"It's not always about you..and it's never going to be"

And she blinked. Registered. Winced. And rose quickly. Shoving me to the side. She was gone in an instant.

In the distance I could hear her sobs along with the other growls of the city. The constant sirens seemed fitting tonight.

I look in the mirror. Splash water in my face. And speak to my reflection.

"We've got to get out of here"