Ever go for a stress run? What does that have to do with a one night stand?
Well it was a few summer's ago and I was headed home from work. I half-hardheartedly send a "what you up to?" text to a buddy. And just as I'm almost out of the Osborne Village and heading over the bridge he responds.
"Just with A (his girlfriend at the time) & C(one of her best friends), you should come hangout"
Now my buddy M had been trying to link me up with this girl for awhile. I had turned down one opportunity and was probably too drunk the other time. (We were at a rave thing by the name of Full Blum )
So I pull that cord thingy that stops the bus and walk back to the Upstairs in the Village. A bar that gets mega packed sometimes. This night I got lucky and a bouncer recognized me from the restaurant I work at (Confusion Corner Drinks & Food) and I was allowed to skip the line. Upstairs has a cool little balcony patio that overlooks the village pretty well.
Well C was definitely beautiful. I'm talking Acro-Yoga posing on Instagram beautiful. And I'm stealing looks her way while sipping my drink and watching the smoke from my one-hitter slowly dissipate over the crowd below.
The girls go to the bathroom together. And M and I have a conversation that goes like this.
M- "Man, you see that girl over there?"
D -"Yup"
M-"Go talk to her bro!"
D-"Ah, I dunno man"
M- "Man, I mean no offense by this, but what's up? You're a good looking guy, why don't you try?"
D- "I guess I just don't know her, I get self conscious and don't want to bother people" (This is my perpetual fear of denial showing itself)
M-"All good, I understand"
The conversation ends. The girls return to the table. And suddenly I have a new attitude. A "fire under my ass" as I've been saying lately. Common around bars and clubs are dude's selling roses. I have no idea how lucrative this endeavor is. And I've always turned them down with a laugh when they approached. But this time, while C wasn't looking, I discreetly buy a rose from the guy. I present the rose to her and A & M collectively "aww" and she loves it.
We end up leaving the Upstairs to grab some beer and wander around. We end up at some park and I slide closer and closer to C. Trying to convey my interest. Eventually we decide to head back to my buddies apartment. I sit next to C and finally gain the confidence to pull her over my lap. M & A get the vibe and head to bed.
As soon as they close the door to their bedroom we jump all over each other. I perform HORRIBLY. Way too many beers and way too many puffs on my good old one-hitter. She's patient with me but yeah it was couch sex after all and there was no space for us to really cuddle and fall asleep. It pains me to remember I suggested I "sleep on the other couch because there's no space"-To which she just responds "Are you for real?"
Nice Devon. You went from the slick rose move to essentially acting like a married dude who doesn't love his wife anymore. Or a cold hearted dick who doesn't care about how someone else feels.
Ever wake up with someone after a one-night stand? You could cut the awkwardness in the air with a knife. And as she leaves I grab her number, give her a quick kiss, and then poof! She's gone into the hot Winnipeg summer and I'm getting high-fives from my buddy.
But I don't feel..great. I don't feel bad. But not exactly great. I mull over what to do with the number she gave me. I know I have to reach out but I also don't know what the fuck to say. So I wait a day or so and fire off my most nonchalant acting text which just made me seem super douchey and equally careless.
"Hey, it's Devon. It's hot out there today! Stay cool" -Ahhhahaha I'm dying remembering this.
No response. And I never sent one again. My motto is "no response-IS a response" And it felt like shit. It's like my brain chemistry was confused. You sort of had sex there..did you not seek out a viable partner? I knew that logically it could never work. She was way younger than me. I shouldn't base expectations off a drunk hookup. That's all cold logic but the brain and heart don't always get along. It can be tough getting a bit older and losing your social circle. Everyone pairs off and gets married. People fit nicely into the main-stream life course plan. And then you're left with swipe apps and cold approaches with cold responses. Join a club they say. Get out there, they say. I'm a prisoner shuffling through the speed dating line.
I ended up going for a 10k run and broke my PR listening to the entire James Bay album. And I'll admit some hot tears streaked down my face and I let the wind dry them as it hit my face. Afterwards I took a shower and leaned my head on the cold linoleum. Afterwards I looked around my bachelor apartment and the walls seemed to close in on me.
Well, lesson learned. But hey, who knows?
dtr.
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